One Night Stands: Are They Good for You?

One-night stands, potential bliss or possible heartbreak? They remain one of the least understood aspects of adult dating, and are usually still thought of negatively. When you consider where the old ideas come from it becomes clear why one-night stands still have a bad reputation for most people.

We grow up hearing that monogamy and marriage are the only paths to happiness, so anyone who enjoys less committed sex is deemed wrong for it. But really, nothing is wrong with two adults having fun consensual sex together and then parting ways for further adventures. It’s time to reevaluate how a one-night stand works, and what’s in it for you. You might decide to give it a try.

Know your values

The only way you will enjoy a one-night stand is if you consider your values first. Would spending one night with someone without any possible future relationship contradict your moral compass? Do you think it would be sexy but still feel uncomfortable? Listen to your inner voice. Don’t do anything that would leave you feeling compromised. There are other avenues to explore, such as longer lasting relationships and affairs.

Know your desires

Often when someone feels down after a one-night stand it has more to do with unexpressed desires than how the night went. If you are really longing for a long-term relationship or affair you will never be fulfilled by one-night stands, and may be hurting yourself emotionally. Rather than trying to fit into the “love ‘em and leave ‘em” lifestyle, acknowledge what you need and put yourself out there for a more deeply invested and longer-lasting relationship.

On the other hand, if you are looking for quick connections with no strings attached then one-night stands are a classic choice for you.

Know what you are getting into

The typical one-night stand is about physical pleasure. It’s important not to go in seeking emotional intimacy, as that is rarely achieved. You may wind up feeling disappointed after your night together. Rather than suffer with that, look into emotional affairs and relationships that focus on the kind of emotional connection you need.

Long-term affairs and relationships are about chemistry heating up, leading to connection, intimacy, and deep feelings. One-night stands have their own kind of fireworks focused on sex and instant gratification. They are completely different, and those differences can make or break your good time.

Forget your assumptions

Whether or not you partake in one-night stands, don’t judge others who do. Casting judgement on others for how they spend their lives is unfair. You may know many people who have one-night stands but you simply don’t know about them. You can’t assume anything.

Judgement is sometimes a subverted form of jealousy. Rather than be jealous of others who enjoy one-night stands, why don’t you try one yourself? You may discover a whole world of sexual pleasure you had never thought possible. Let go of your inhibitions and see what you discover.