“Will I find love again after divorce?” is the question everybody asks when they first see signed divorce papers. At that moment, falling in love again seems impossible. But do we love only once, and are some ways to get back in the game better than others? Learn answers to these questions in this blog article written for men and women who repeat the same sentence to themselves every single day: “I want to find love again.”
Knowing what you want is the first step, but just knowing isn’t enough. To find love again, dating must be a priority. Falling in love without meeting new people isn’t a good strategy. There are some other things everybody coming out of a divorce should do to make finding love simpler and pain-free.
Divorce is difficult for everybody, even for the side who wanted to get it. The other side, who usually doesn’t see it coming, gets hit a lot harder, though. Regardless of the position, newly single people tend to make common mistakes. Those mistakes are logical and may seem inevitable, but they prevent divorced people from being happy and finding love.
When something is bad as divorce happens, it’s normal to feel sorry for yourself. Letting that feeling control your life isn’t. Of course, nobody can get over a divorce in a couple of days. Grieving periods are different for every person, but one thought shouldn’t leave your mind during those hard times. You will find love again. When you realize that’s true, you’ll stop feeling sorry, and you’ll focus on the positive sides of life and being single.
Don’t expect to find a soulmate from the first try. Enjoy being single for a while, different date people, create a profile on some dating site, be free. That’s the best way to stop feeling sorry about a divorce. We understand that’s easier said than done, but every journey begins even before the first step. It begins with the decision to start it.
Can we find love again after getting separated from someone who was supposed to be our soulmates? The answer is simple - yes. Every person can do that, but 2 steps are crucial for finding love again:
Realizing that beating yourself up because of it and feeling sorry will ruin your entire life
Forgetting about your ex-partner in marriage
Some people can’t get over their former partners decades after a divorce. By that time, their ex-partners create new lives. New love, new families, new everything. That makes some people who are having trouble forgetting them feel even worse because they think something is wrong. It makes sense, right? How can their ex bloom after a divorce while they’re crying every night? In reality, it makes 0 sense to let their ex-partners destroy their life after divorce.
The “happier” ex-partner, regardless if it’s a man or woman, is usually the one who forgets about the relationship they had. That doesn’t mean destroying everything connected to that relationship or forgetting all the memories. That means realizing it’s over and moving forward.
You may not believe we can find love again after a divorce. You aren’t alone; many divorced people think they’ll never love again at first. But statistics proved that’s far away from the truth.
What do you think, how much time has to pass before you’re ready to decide “I need to find love again?” The study about dating after divorce for women showed that 80% of them think about dating somebody new even before the divorce is finalized. Also, 70% of divorced women start dating less than a year after a breakup. Statistics are similar for divorced men as well. You see, numbers are on your side.
If you don’t know where to meet like-minded people, don’t worry. Most divorced men and women don’t know that at first. Still, 60% of new singles looking for the next partner online. Dating sites and apps will connect you with other single people once you stop asking yourself: “Can I find love again” and start repeating “I will find love again” to yourself. Of course, you may not want to give marriage another shot, but marriage isn’t the same as love. You can be free, date different guys or girls, and start a long-term relationship without saying “Yes.”
The statistics show that people who separate while 25 or younger usually get married again. In the study from 2019, experts proved that 75% of people who want to get married after divorce do that within the next 10 years. Still, many divorced people don’t want to get married again, but they don’t mind having a serious relationship. Their age is an important factor. Only 17% of women over 40 want to remarry. 26% of them aren’t sure if they want to give it another try and 43% know they don’t want to be married ever again. That doesn’t mean they said goodbye to love; they don’t care about marriage anymore.
Men and women react differently to separating from their long-term partners. Men usually get over the breakup much faster, or it seems like that. Hanging out with friends, going to bars, meeting potential partners online and in real life are their favorite tools to get over a divorce. Women are more likely to feel sorry for themselves and blame everything on themselves. If you’ve read this blog carefully, you know that’s not the way to find love again.
The mentioned study included men as well, and it gave surprising results. Compared to 17% of middle-aged women who were sure they want to remarry, 27% of divorced men their age were sure about giving marriage a second shot. 24% of them weren’t sure if they want to marry again or stay single, but only (compared to women) 33% of men were sure they don’t want to spend another day of their life married.
Those numbers prove that men are more likely to look for the second (or third, or fourth) marriage than women. That may be the main reason why men seem to do better after a divorce. Men don’t spend their time overthinking. On average, they start living again much sooner than women. Guys don’t bother asking, “Can I find love again”, they go and enjoy life. That increases their chances to find love. Remember, love finds happy people easier. Just keep on smiling.
Knowing 75% of divorced singles who want to get married again actually do it within 10 years from their divorce should give you hope that you’ll find love again. But keep in mind that love isn’t equal to marriage. You can be in a healthy relationship full of love without getting married. You can also be in a toxic, loveless marriage. Always choose love over marriage if you can’t have both. Now let’s recap what has to be done to find love again after a divorce.
6 things to do if you want to find love again after divorce:
Stop feeling sorry for yourself
Forget about your ex-partner
Hang out with your friends
Go out, have fun
Date (not necessarily looking for a long-term relationship)
Don’t be afraid or ashamed to seek help from professionals or friends (sometimes all we need is a shoulder to cry on)
Love won’t smack you around your face like in some bad romantic comedy. Looking for it is the key. Start visiting bars for singles, or join dating sites for divorced people. You don’t have to go for that kind of dating site; you can join any site where you can meet like-minded people or learn about dating on their blog.
When you start putting yourself out there, you’ll notice the difference immediately. Attention from other attractive singles will make you feel better. Soon it will be obvious that we can love more than once in our lives.